Updated: Sep 2
When you are a strong, empathetic person, people can suck the ever loving life out of you leaving you feeling drained and empty.
I realize saying that "if you are strong, people will suck the life out you", may come across as being double-minded. How could a strong person allow themselves to be taken advantage of or feel drained and empty?
Strong people should be able to identify when this is happening and not allow it to suck the life out of them; however, many times strong people have empathy to a degree that it is no longer healthy. Strong and empathetic people need edification at times, too!
I pray some of what I shared here is helpful to someone. It's some things I'm working on myself. People having access to you on social media will sometimes make them think they know everything you are doing, what you have time for, or what resources you have.
Not airing certain things out to your whole friend/follower list is spiritual and mental hygiene. Everyone shouldn't have access to you. Be intentional. Let your no mean no and yes mean yes without overexplaining. Sometimes, no explanation is needed at all.
Audacity and assumptions are at an all time high. People are coming from every direction needing this or asking for that. Family, friends, people from the internet.....So many are in need. I hope to help address that here - because we know what the scriptures say about helping others and it can be overwhelming sometimes! The guilt trips can be gut wrenching. You humbly know that it could be you in need one day. So many things may run through your head and heart.
Are you hearing from the Holy Spirit or are you hearing from the many, many, many voices we're exposed to daily? This is something I often find myself in prayer about.
This post is for edification purposes and critical thinking (Ephesians 4:29). We can review this information, look in the mirror, pray, and reflect on what we learn. When it comes to our mental and spiritual health, the Holy Spirit is our guide.
This information won't help anyone unless you take time to look at it. I'm sorry; it can't be condensed into a 30 second snippet. We have to challenge our attention spans. What do they say? Use it or you'll lose it?
I will attach two articles below that I found edifying on the above topics. It will require you clicking on a link that has to load. May the peace of God be with you.
The first article I'd like to share:
"In relationships that drain us, it is important to recognize the role that we are playing with
others. We should acknowledge the worth of our own time and resources, while remaining thoughtful in how we share these with others.
It can feel nice to be “needed,” but when we find ourselves prioritizing others to our own detriment, we need to rethink our boundaries. Setting, communicating, and maintaining healthy boundaries can be an excellent first step to stopping energy vampires from draining you dry."
These are not instructions on how to be selfish or excuses to not help people in need!
We must use discernment.
Click the photo for more:
- What is an energy vampire?
- Examples of energy vampires
- Signs of an energy vampire
- How to deal with an energy vampire
- How to stop being an energy vampire
- And some additional resources...
The second article I'd like to share:
Be careful if someone is manipulating you or guilting you into thinking you are not doing enough or you are not that great of a person because your world is not revolving around them or you aren't doing what they think you should be doing.
People are out here walking on eggshells over one verse thrown at them when the entire bible is full of wisdom for just about any given situation.
We just have to read it to know what it is, fam.
When people spit on your wisdom but have an open hand for some cash - how do we handle those situations? (see link below - drawing the line)
Where/how do you draw the line between helping someone and allowing someone to take advantage of you or manipulate you with false conviction? (see link below - drawing the line)
This is why we read our whole bible and never let anyone use one verse to prove a point to you or manipulate you into doing what they think you should be doing. The whole bible is for teaching, reproof, correction, and for training in righteousness. Use discernment, family. Take it to the Lord in prayer. I can't emphasize that enough. People are fallible, God is not.
If you are blasting believers for not giving to you during hard times so you can maintain your lifestyle, that's not right. If you are blasting believers for not giving to what mission you think they should be giving to, that's not right. Social media has made people assume A LOT.
You do not know who is currently giving to who. Just because they are not giving to YOU does not mean they aren't giving.
You have no idea what people are going through.
The church as a whole can DEFINITELY do better taking care of brethren in need (poor, widowed, oppressed). Yes - I know this. And yes, many in the church are all about the the prosperity, wealth, health, and gospel (a false gospel).
Many people I know that would appear to have it all together - the big house, nice car, trips, etc - planned way in advance, budgeted, or were gifted. Also, consider this - just maybe they are in debt to their eyeballs and struggling to make ends meet. Maybe they bought those things during better times and are struggling themselves? Maybe they are on a tight budget. So many variable to consider before we start throwing stones at folks.
These are some reasons I try not to judge NOBODY when it comes to this stuff. Tell the truth in love otherwise you are clanging brass...a noisy gong in people's ears.
Link to article: Drawing the line?
Link to verses: Helping the poor and oppressed scriptures
𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬: 1. This is not me telling strong people "don't be there or be supportive of people". 2. It's also not me saying for people that are in need to think: "Fine. I'll never ask you about anything ever again! Sheesh!"
𝐁𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐫𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 as I'm sure at some point in our lives, we will be the strong one or the one in need.
3. I found good information on both links. I do not endorse the linked websites as a WHOLE. Where you go from there is truly up to you. Use discernment.
It is poor spiritual hygiene to give everyone access to you and
to tell just anyone your plans or what you are going through.
Be intentional and discerning.